


Party poppers? More like party poopers

by idioticfangirl



Series: The Avengers Team-Building Shenanigans [45]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Party, Princess Party, Snark, Superfamily (Marvel), Team Dynamics, Team Feels, Team Fluff, mentions of throwing up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 16:40:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14773298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idioticfangirl/pseuds/idioticfangirl
Summary: It's for Scott's adorable, sweet, innocent little daughter.  It's worth it, right?  They're all adults, how bad can a children's party be?Pretty bad.





	Party poppers? More like party poopers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [I_kill_Zombies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_kill_Zombies/gifts).



> Does anyone still read these? Or am I writing them purely for my own amusement at this point? Turns out life in uni is quite stressful, who'd have guessed, so I hope yall don't hate me and I'm still halfway relevant.
> 
> Anyway folks I am BACK ON MY BULLSHIT

"Please," Scott begged, looking around at the assembled avengers, who all had similar looks of uncomfortable displeasure on their faces. In response, they all shook their heads in various degrees of seriousness, with Tony whipping it round so fast that it was probably at risk of falling off, and Steve seeming distinctly guilty as he shook his minutely.

In the end, as happened so often with this particular group of people, it was Clint that broke the silence. "What could possibly go wrong?" he asked, tempting fate. "It's just a kids party."

"It would make Cassie so, so happy if you guys could turn up. Just for ten minutes?" Scott caught on to the glimmer of hope that Clint was throwing at him, "It would make her entire birthday." The beginnings of cracks appeared in the staunch façade of the team, and eventually the floodgates broke. With promises that they would show up at 4pm on the dot, the Avengers turned to their beds, an odd feeling of regret and fear following them. What could possibly go wrong, right?

 

The first problem with the party was that, as Scott only decided to tell them the next morning, it was a princess party. 

The next day, at 4:56, they managed to show up at the hall that had been rented for the party. They were armed to the teeth with presents, having had to physically drag Tony away from the kids' section in three stores. Somewhere along the way, however, they had forgotten to watch Thor, who had been mere moments away from buying Cassie a pony and could only be consoled with a rocking horse that may actually be larger than the real thing. 

The costumes ranged from Wade, dressed up like a chimichanga and insisting that to him food was royalty, to Thor, looking the exact image of Briar Rose and loving every minute of it. Tony had managed to convince Bruce to go as a deer if he went as Snow White, on the promise that if Tony started singing Bruce had to immediately 'bound' up to him. Bruce agreed as long as he could hit Tony when he got there. Natasha and Clint had gone as Ariel and Prince Eric, with Clint in a bikini top and mermaid skirt while Natasha looked dashing in a normal white shirt. Even Bucky and Vision had got into it, going as the helpful mice to Steve's fairy godmother. Sam and Wanda were the only two that looked vaguely acceptable, with Sam dressed as Kristoff and Wanda as Anna, because screw going as the only black character Sam was picking the whitest guy he could and rocking it.

They entered nonchalantly, like they weren't a group of superheroes carrying thirty small presents and a rocking horse so big it needed Captain America and the God of Thunder to hold it, but within seconds there were children screaming and running. This was a normal scene for them, only differentiated from a normal day at work by the fact that children were running towards them which, as Steve only just managed to put down the horse before he as barrelled into by a seven year old at the speed of light, may actually be more terrifying than a super villain. 

"So glad you made it!" Scott waved, ignoring the looks of the other parents. Scott was wearing normal clothes. Why was Scott wearing normal clothes? "Um," he opened and shut his mouth, clearly worried about being mauled, "only the kids have to go in fancy dress, you know?" He ran off with Cassie before anyone could injure him, and wasn't seen again for the rest of the party.

"NO -" Pietro stretched out his arm, watching their one chance at protection from the small menaces walking away, his own devil looking as cute and innocent as could be. Pietro turned, about to ask what the game plan would be, only to see Thor and Bucky being stolen away by children armed with flowery hair bobbies, and Natasha finding an empty chair to sit in and look cool and menacing and not at all like the kind of person you could ask to play I-spy with. Several children asked, of course, because they have no sense of self-preservation.

Clint, being naturally good around children, was smiling down at his admirers. All was well and good, it seemed, until they pulled lipstick and eyeshadow, seemingly out of nowhere, and began to climb on him, reaching his face with sticky fingers and hands stained with chocolate. In desperation, he pulled out his trump card, the last-ditch effort, and said;

"Why don't you do it on Iron Man?"

With yells of agreement, the children leapt off him and ran for Tony, who began pulling money from his wallet and thrusting it at them like a shield, looking around for Steve to protect him.

Steve, bless his heart, was having the time of his life. He had six children clinging to various parts of his arms, legs, and shoulders, and was spinning carefully, grinning at the small giggles that erupted from their mouths as they called out, "Faster! Faster!" Pietro took one look at this and decided that he could do one better, picking up one child and spinning them so fast they were a neon coloured blur. When he put them down Pietro looked a little unsteady on his feet, exhausted already and ready to let the child play with someone else.

"I feel sick," the kid groaned, and Pietro stepped back warily. "AGAIN!" he raised his arms demandingly, and the cycle began again. It was a disaster waiting to happen.

Peter hung from the ceiling and watched the whole scene go down, occassionally swinging from rafter to rafter because the children demanded it and really, who was he to say no to his adoring fans? Smugly, he saluted to Tony, who had at least managed to reach the food table despite still being harrassed with makeup, and took a few sneaky pictures of Sam.

Sam was, as always, in his element. He was sitting on a rug with a small circle of well-behaved children, the only ones at the party, sipping 'tea' from a china cup with his pinky finger sticking out and nibbling at triangular sandwiches. Next to him, the exact opposite in every way, Wanda was teaching her group how to get people to fear them. It would be something for someone to worry about, perhaps, if she hadn't managed to find the smallest, most afraid looking children to preach to, perhaps hoping that this advice would help them find their way in life.

Suddenly Steve stopped stock still, to the shrill complaints of those riding him. "Where's Wade?" he asked, a question sure to strike fear into the hearts of even the most brave men. A quick glance around the hall showed no sign of him, and this was bad, he was probably teaching a child to throw a knife at this very moment, when - 

"Wheeeeee!" 

Well. That sounded suspiciously like an adult child. Steve turned tail and ran for the door into the garden, still thinking to keep the children balanced on his shoulders as he did so.

"I'm enjoying the [BEEP] out of this!" Wade was on a bouncy castle, looking horrifically out of place among the children who were being thrown into the air by the power he was putting into jumping. 

"Did he just saw beep?" Peter hung upside-down next to Steve, looking confused, while Steve just sighed and shook his head.

It was time to leave once all of the food was gone and Cassie had opened her presents, getting angered looks from her mum at the sight of the rocking horse. Bruce materialised next to them as they left, proudly presenting his beautifully painted nails, whilst Vision tried desperately to chip off his, which had been done in horrifying shades of neon pink and lime green, without there even being a pattern as to which nail was which colour.

None of the children had thrown up, which was more than could be said for Pietro, who spent the latter section of the party sitting in a corner with his knees to his chest and his head down. Peter offered no more sympathy than shaking his head chastisingly.

Most horrific, however, was Tony. "Children don't want money," he muttered morosely, "they want to paint Iron Man's face to look like a clown and the Pringles mascot bred." When he looked up, there was pink and red lipstick smeared all over his face, with green glitter on his cheeks and eyes and a moustache in what looked to be paint, or sharpie. This was topped off by being a ghastly shade of white, although whether this was due to face paint or shock it was unclear. "I'm hideous!" he wailed, "Can you still love me, Steve?"

"Of course", he went for his best Captain America smile, "I'll always love you." Tony grinned, leaning up for a kiss, only for Steve to finish with a wink and the words, "but you're not sleeping in our bed until that comes off."

Pietro laughed so hard he threw up.


End file.
